I don’t want to be a plumber anymore

I don’t want to be a plumber anymore. Not that I get to do the regular jobs like a blocked pipe of toilet. Actually I think that if I did get those jobs it would be quite a relief. Me and my brother stupidly crawled down a massive green pipe thirty-three years ago. “This will be the making of us Mario, you wait and see!” said Luigi, my brother, as we went down the pipe.

“Tell me why we’re doing this again?” U asked him. I was hoping to spend the day looking at some Farah Shirts I saw on https://www.ejmenswear.com/men/farah but here I was doing it again, plumbing.

“There are strange creatures living in the sewers! The Mayor has asked us to go down and have a look” replied Luigi.

“Yes, but why us? I don’t want to meet strange creatures. Shouldn’t this be a job for the military or emergency services?” I said.

“You did that other job ok”, said Luigi.

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“Oh yes, the massive Monkey on top of the sky scraper. Ridiculous. I was jumping over barrels, on fire barrels sometimes I might add without any back up. A quick shot with a tranquilizer dart would have solved the problem straight away but no. Mario has to go and sort it out. I’m a Plumber, not that I want to be. I should be in a bathroom. When was the last time we did an actually job in a bathroom Luigi? When?” I said, disgruntled. I was disgruntled. In fact I think I had every right to be.

“Last week”, lied Luigi.

“What, that tap, in our own flat? Give me a break Luigi”, I’d had enough of this. All of it. I turn around to start crawling back up the pipe when suddenly a the is a weird glug glug sound and I find my brother and I ejaculated out of the pipe on to a green floor.

Yes. This was my first time in the mushroom kingdom. As you can imagine it was quite a shock to see this strange worlds with lots of floating blocks. Luigi immediately decided to headbutt one and a massive coin came out.

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“Why did you do that?” I asked.

“Seemed like the right thing to do” He said.

I’ve always wondered about Luigi. I mean here I am short and stout there he is tall and thin. We both have a moustache though so I suppose we’re brothers.

“Give it a try”, he said with a slightly maniacal grin on his face that was unbecoming. I duly leaped into the air and firmly crashed into the block with a question mark on it. Instead of coin a large red mushroom came out. It flew towards me in a threating manner and was forced to catch it. All at once I felt strange session I was growing to immense size.

“I think I’m going to like it here” I said to my brother.

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