Parenting does not have to mean a constant power struggle. Here are tips to achieve peaceful and thy sons, resolve conflicts housework and more.
Tips to stop battling with your children
Are you tired of repeating your children to boredom to collect your laundry without results? Do you dream like a broken record repeating “Eat your vegetables”? I have good news: You can put an end to these daily battles !
“Most fights occur because parents try to put limits, correct or stop your child’s behavior,” says Dr. Fred Zelinger, psychologist specializing in children and families in Cedarhurst, NY “But it’s easier to choose than simply giving an order. And it is more effective to plan ahead how to solve certain situations, instead of reacting in the moment “. So to stop fighting! Try these recommended strategies experts to end once and for all with the most common conflicts between parents and children (without being nagging!).
Conflict: Your 9 year old daughter does not want to do housework that touch you
Solution: The chores are non-negotiable, are necessary in any family life. Choose some simple tasks so that your child does every day (e.g. make his bed or setting the table) or some more important tasks to do once a week (for example, taking out the trash). Set a specific time for each task and explain that you must make before you get to watch TV or go out and play with their friends . That will help to make respecting the rule.
“When your child finishes a task that did not want to do, is learning what the delayed gratification,” says Dr. Fran Walfish, specialist in child and family therapy and author of The Self-Aware Parent. “In addition, aid to build self-esteem. ” What is also very important to keep your children motivated. Instead of criticizing saying “no You put the sheets well when you made the bed,” tell them “Good job! I love that can help me.”
Conflict: Your 7 year old waste time in the morning and always late to school
Solution: The morning is a really stressful time of day, we have to do so much in so little time! No wonder he always encounter problems … First, make sure you’re ready before your child so you can be calm and handle. Save time preparing lunch yesterday, taking the closet clothes that are going to get your children and leaving backpacks and made in front of the door. Then, create a routine for morning and insístele your child to follow her.
But do not forget to be flexible. Instead of standing in the middle of the room and shout “! Dress up or you’ll be late”, let the shirt down while downstairs to have breakfast “If you scold too Your son will lock you out of your mind ” , says Dr. Laurie Zelinger, child psychologist and author of a Please Explain “Anxiety” to Me! Biology and Simple Solutions for Children and Parents. If your child snail has no time to put on socks and shoes before you go, let me walk barefoot to the bus stop. “You can finish dressing in front of his friends,” Zelinger says. “Then they will have to face the consequences, and see what does not happen again.”
Conflict: Your kids 6 and 8 years fighting over a toy, “I hate you” are said and insult
Solution: Families need to establish a policy of tolerance zero with insults and verbal aggression. Keep in mind that children say things like “I hate you” because they are trying to express strong emotion and do not know how to do it correctly.
The next time one of your children say something hurtful, remind them that your house will not tolerate that kind of language, then help him to express his feelings more appropriately. “Sit with your two sons, saying,” It seems that mean you’re extremely angry with your brother. Tell why you’re so angry. I promise I will sit still and will listen and I will too, “explains Walfish. “They will learn that it is normal to experience strong feelings, but you must learn to express correctly and without hurting the other person.”
Conflict: Your 10 year old son will not eat fruits or vegetables
Solution: The food really depends on personal taste, and is an area in which parents should not put strict limits and try to control everything. “While your child is healthy, why bother fighting over food? “says Fred Zelinger.
Make sure your children propose various fruits and vegetables, maybe your child has not tried one you like, and make sure you are incorporating enough vitamins. If it still refuses to eat this kind of food, do not force it. Walfish As he notes, “Most children stop this picky stage when they enter adolescence. Everyone does it in their own way, as long as parents do not show too pushy “.